I wanted to try this out for a week or two before i officially announced this blog anywhere. That way new visitors would have a fair amount of content to check out on their first looksee.

So i've put out my first official announements about this new blog, so welcome to everyone checking it out. Please read the introductions (at the bottom of the page) to get a sense of what this is all about and where it's coming from.

This won't be everyone's cup of tea, i don't see this being the ultimate MUST-READ Muppet site (as you'll see it will most likely be only 75-85% Muppet related), but hopefully the people that enjoy this kind of thing will find it worthwhile and bookmark it.

Updates will be subject to my schedule, but expect new posts between one to three days on average.

And if you're as big a Muppet Freak as me, send me a note saying hi!

I already have a fairly long list of subjects i plan to cover, but i'm always happy to hear readers' suggestions of what they'd like me to write about.

...and no, "being bought by Disney" is not one of them. Though Disney is not without its faults and parts of it can be downright Eeeevil, i do have a lot of admiration for current Muppets Studio head Lylle Breier and how she's running things. If there's only one bitchslap i would give Disney, it would be their refusal to allow Kermit to appear in the video releases of Emmet Otter's Jugband Christmas and The Christmas Toy. That's just the Major Corporate Greed that has become synonymous with the name "Disney" at play. But otherwise i'd consider this one of the most exciting times to be a Muppet fan. You can be sure i'll explore Disney's ownership of the Muppets more in depth in the future.

So what were the two worst things to happen to the Muppets? Both of them were "good ideas at the time" and not that bad on either of their own merits. But both of them set in motion a trend that has haunted the Muppets to this day.

The first big thing to have cursed the Muppets were "Muppet Babies". Like i said, not a bad idea at the time. The genesis of Muppet Babies was as a dream sequence in the film The Muppets Take Manhattan. In fact their musical number, "I'm Gonna Always Love You" was one of the highlights of the movie. It took very little time to realize this was a marketing dream with a Saturday morning cartoon series airing soon afterwards.

As the show itself goes, i don't hate Muppet Babies. Far from it. It was a good show. Funny, original, and all the great stuff one typically associates with Henson. And i always loved every single time Baby Animal was on screen...i know it's weird to talk about an animated character's "acting" but he had this screen presence and energy that always kept my eyes drawn to him. This show was lots of good fun and one of the better cartoon shows to come out of the 80's.

But like Jim Henson once asked Sesame Street creator Joan Ganz Cooney in a huge funk, "Why did you have to become so successful?"

It was what Jim fought against early in his career. The Muppets were always aimed more towards adults. When the Muppets became overnight household names due to their work on Sesame Street, Henson found himself facing his worst nightmare; being labeled by the entertainment industry and general public as "kiddie entertainment" The path from Sesame Street to The Muppet Show was a long uphill battle.

Though it never totally reversed the "Sesame Curse", The Muppet Show and the Classic Muppets' success helped Jim get his characters the adult acclaim he wanted. The Muppets had that respect, the characters were cool cultural icons.

Those darn Babies undid all that and put them back to square one.

There were three reasons that happened: (1) at a time when the kids who grew up on the Muppet Show were getting older, the Muppet projects Henson was working on were skewing younger. Fraggle Rock, though far more sophisticated than most television for any audience, was at its heart (and marketing) a "kids show". The Classic Muppet Show characters were basically making once-a-year appearances in tv specials. Then came the Babies. The original Muppet Show fans were growing up and the Muppets were leaving them behind going in the opposite direction. (2) People had finally come to recognize the difference between the "for kids" Sesame Muppets and the "all ages" Classic Muppets (as the Muppet Show cast would come to be known as). Muppet Babies took the cast that was associated with adults and redefined them as kiddie fare. Just look at the title: "Muppet BABIES" (ie "Muppet" = "Babies" or "For Babies") Kids on the schoolyard may have known how cool the show was and watched it without admitting it to their friends but telling your friends you liked watching "the babies show" was to risk your coolness level. (3) It became too successful. The Muppet Show ran five seasons. Muppet Babies lasted eight. In between 1981's "Great Muppet Caper" and 1989's "Jim Henson Hour", the Babies had the task of representing the Muppets to the public at large save for those once-a-year primetime specials. A whole bloody generation grew up thinking of the Muppets as infant cartoon characters and not the edgy cool puppet characters they really were.

The Muppets have never totally recovered. You know all the talk over the last two decades of "reviving the Muppet franchise"? It was those blasted babies that caused them to need to be "revised". I normally love Muppet monsters but the Babies were its own kind of "Muppet Monster" that grew too large and ate its own.

Yes, the show itself was good (and probably better than people who hadn't seen it in awhile remember) and it helped bring in money to the Henson Company and keep it afloat, but it was something that might have ultimately done more harm than good.

So what else could possibly be just as bad as the Babies? What else could cause the Muppets to experience such a decline in quality and overall "Muppetness"?

The posers!

Yep, the poser Muppets. Some of you have no idea what that means and those that do probably wonder why i would make such a claim. Read on.

Poser Muppets are full-bodied (ie they have legs!) stuffed dolls of the Muppets used for photo sessions. As Muppet merchansiding was everywhere in the Muppet Show days with countless photos taken of the puppets and more desire to show them head to toe with feet, the idea to make Poser Muppets made sense. Especially after the success of the Miss Piggy calendars and the 1983 debut of Muppet Magazine which would require the Muppets to be photographed heavily each quarterly issue.

Like the Babies, this was a good idea at the time. Looking back one could still say they were a good idea and essential to the growth of the brand especially in terms of merchandising. But also like the Babies, they were a poor substitute for the genuine article!

You see, one of the things that made the Muppets special was that they were designed for the close-up and intimacy of the tv screen. Part of what's considered Jim Henson's genius in their creation was not just his recognition that the borders of the tv set could serve as their stage rather than shoot a camera at a puppet stage, but they were designed to be flexible and have expressions come to life when put on a skilled puppeteer's hand. What makes Kermit such a classic character is that his own design is built around the shape of Henson's hand.

Such intricate movements and positions a puppeter makes in regards to camera angle and hand placement can make a Muppet come to life and go from happy to sad to crazed to ravenous and all the complicated emotions that an actor can play often with shades of several co-existing. You just can't get that out of a stuffed poser. They've done a lot of great stuff with them, but whenever a photo is taken with them, there's just this soullessness, this flatness. Of course this is made all the worse when you take Kermit and design his poser to be more two-dimensional friendly, de-emphasizing the snout that mimics the shape of a hand and flattening it to look more simple head-on. It doesn't improve on the original. Muppet fans have taken to calling Poser Kermit "Flathead".

Can you blame them? Not only should Kermit's real head shape not be so artificially round, but for a puppet who was created to be so flexible in expression shaped by the hand inside, a poser is doomed to fail. I've never seen a Kermit photo done with a Poser that i've liked. Not one. If you're a dedicated Muppet fan and have a copy of the book "Jim Henson: The Works" on your bookshelf or waiting for you anytime you want it at your library, take a look at the cover photos and pictures of Kermit "breaking through the page" displayed on the table of contents pages. Those were done with an actual Kermit PUPPET, one of the rare times they used the puppet itself for a photo session probably because they knew they couldn't get the various expressions needed in that spread from a poser.

Now the posers are not in themselves bad. They allow the Muppets to do things in a medium (still photography) that might be harder to do otherwise. But the company has come to depend on them almost solely for photo shoots instead of as an enhancement. Still photos with actual puppets are an endangered species. This is a crying shame. The posers should be used sparingly, not as the "go to" guys for photo shoots. They look bad. They're like that third face lift a celebrity gets. They think its working wonders and saving their reputation, but they're just being laughed at and felt sorry for behind their backs.

Now what could be worse than over-reliance on Posers? How about using the same handful of photos over and over AND OVER AND OVER again in merchandise? For the last decade, we've seen the exact same photos of the Muppets on merchandise. There's about ten (if even that) pictures of Kermit and Piggy always used and characters like Fozzie and Gonzo are lucky if they have more than five. Floyd and Rowlf have at most two! Disney is guilty of this, but this was a problem with Muppet products before the Disney sale. Heck, the Muppet flathead poser faces have even been SUPERIMPOSED over faces of actual Muppet photo stills such as in the case of the Rocky Mountain Holiday dvd cover and the infamous group shot of the Muppet cast from 1979 originally done to promote The Muppet Movie which almost always now has (what fans have dubbed "Floating Piggy" due to its poor photoshopping placement) a poser Piggy head on the real Miss Piggy's body.

These photos just shout "INFERIORITY" wheever i see them. The concept has been abused. Disney, I implore you to lock the posers in a closet for a few years and bulk up the supply of photos taken with the real Muppet puppets. Take LOTS of them. For every piece of merchandise that comes out with a "peeking over gaudy sunglasses" Piggy, "Home Alone" posed Fozzie, "kissing fingers" Swedish Chef or group shot of Muppets waving to camera that debuted at MuppetFest, you should be forced to scream "WARNER BROTHERS RULE!" at the top of your lungs through megaphones in the nation's busiest streets.

And for the record, pasting a bunch of those same photos used everywhere else into a new "group shot" like the inside audience chairs photo in The Muppet SHow Season Three Box Set does NOT count as a "New" photo. Stunts like that should merit a "I Love Pixar" tattoo on your forehead.

Right now Disney is banking on a Jason Segel penned movie literally titled "The Greatest Muppet Movie of All Time" to reignite the brand (that WHO runied and caused it to need reignition? Say it with me: "THE BABIES!") How about promoting it with the Greatest Muppet Photos of ...at least the last two decades, if not all time by photographing the puppets for a change?

Wire hangers are yesterday's battle. From henceforth, NO MORE FLOATING OR FLATHEADS!

All right, let's start off with a disclaimer:

I really didn't plan it this way. I knew i wanted to do a tribute article to this album and i figured if i was going to declare something the Coolest Sesame Street Album Ever, it was only natural to do a list of the Coolest Sesame Street Songs Ever. I talked in that post about how surprisingly easy it was to pick the top five and where they ranked.

It was only after i made my list that i started looking up some additional information about the songs so i could include them in my writeup. I was totally surprised that the top four were written/co-written by Sam Pottle. Well guess what? Pottle also wrote or arranged the vast majority of the songs on the album i'm about to discuss. After doing these articles, i have a whole new level of respect for Sam. He passed away far too soon in 1978 and who knows how many many more great songs the Muppetverse would have had if he had been with us longer?

Looking at his Muppet Wiki page was basically like looking at a list of Sesame Street's All Time Classics such as:

*Bus Stop
*City-Country Song
Different People, Different Ways
*Fur
*Frazzle
Keep Christmas With You (All Through the Year)
*Numerical Correspondence Song
*One Way
Pockets (this was not a Muppet song, but it was still sang by Marilyn Sokol and just as much of a Sesame Classic)
Sign, You're a Friend of Mine
Swamp Mushy Muddy
What's the Name of That Song?
Women Can Be

...Those songs that have stars next to them? They're ones i had considered for inclusion on my Coolest List. One Way was literally Choice #6. Lest you think that he was the most perfect Muppet Songwriter Ever, i'll point out that he did also write I Get a Nice Feeling which was one of those way too sweet and sappy songs that bored me silly when Bob would sing them and cause me to go hide in the coat closet until it was over.

But enough with the traumatic childhood memories - now let's pay tribute to the COOLEST Sesame Street Album EVER.

The Coolest Sesame Street Album Ever is of course the one all about Bert not wanting to expose his private parts to a large group of friends. Seriously.

Now that's not WHY it's the all-time coolest, but it certainly doesn't hurt!

When Sesame Street is at its best, it included multilayered humor and entertainment value that appeals to the adults watching the show along with their children. That's how the show was envisioned, it was never meant to be Barney-esque where the adults gag.

"BERT & ERNIE SING-ALONG" is one of those Sesame projects that you loved as a child and loved even more when you heard it as an adult. This gets frequent play in my car stereo.

A lot of the earliest Sesame Street albums were simply collections of songs from the show. They might have sometimes been rerecordings instead of taken directly from the episodes, but they all had that anthology tone. There had been a few exceptions - 1972's Havin' Fun With Ernie and Bert was the first one to really break from that format. The album had a narrative theme of Bert and Ernie having a play along with all their friends and the "kids at home" who were encouraged to grab household items to do things with the Muppets. The songs were just about all new and had spoken bits tying them together between them. There was also The Muppet Alphabet Album which had songs representing all the letters of the alphabet. Most of which were written for the album and later filmed as Muppet songs/sketches for the show instead of the other way around.

But mostly, the original Sesame Street Albums had the "best of the show" compilation feeling, many of which focusing on a specific character like "Bert's Blockbusters" or "Grover Sings the Blues". In 1975 Bert & Ernie Sing Along was the first album that had come out in awhile that went back to the Havin' Fun With Ernie & Bert format where the songs were all recorded for the album and tied together by a story in between the songs. Even the credits on the back cover marked a different layout/format that the ones that had come before.

And the story that ties the album together is all about Naked Bert. You see, Bert is having a nice pleasant moment alone in his bath (which was a nice reversal since Ernie and his Rubber Duckie had always been the one who was associated with bath-taking.) He's enjoying his bath so much that he even starts singing "Yankee Doodle" (insert your own joke here). Ernie, the master of mixing baths and production numbers together soon enters saying he heard Bert singing and thought he'd join him in a sing-along - since everyone sounds better in the bathroom, after all! Bert of course, protests but nonetheless Ernie pushes the piano into the bathroom!

This gets the album started with one of those classic Ernie and Bert songs. You know how in the Sesame Street-homage-musical, Avenue Q where that's that great song between Nicky and Rod that pays tribute to the standard Ernie and Bert song? Well "I Refuse to Sing Along" is EXACTLY the type of song they were riffing on! Ernie has his verse about how great something is, Bert has his own verse with a different melody about the opposite point of view and the two end up singing their parts together - all with little asides and spoken dialogue between the lyrics:

Bert (singing): I refuse to sing along, I WON'T
So please don't ask me if I want to 'cause I DON'T
Although for you I would do almost anything...
Ernie (spoken): REALLY?
Bert (singing): ...Along is one way which I do not want to sing!

As soon as the song ends, it turns out that Ernie's sing-along was not just going to be a private party.

Ernie (hearing a knock): Someone's at the door.
Bert: Well go see who it is and lock yourself out!
ERNIE: IT'S OPEN!
Bert: Wait a minute - what are you doing?

Turns out that in addition to dragging the piano in the bathroom to sing along with Bert, he's also called all his friends for a mass group sing-along where the acoustics are best. The human cast members are the first to arrive. David arrives first and establishes that Bert has lots of soap bubbles to keep his private parts from being exposed to everyone in the room "Hey look at the SUDS - how are the suds?" Bob comes in as does Luis and Gordon remarking on the sound quality of the room - and the fact that Bert's taking a bath at the same time is just atmospheric.

Now of course, the album is never explicit about Bert's naked humilation. This was a kids album after all. But a lot is implied and it's all there for the grown ups to laugh at while it's all going over the kids' heads. To the kids listening at home, Bert keeps screaming throughout the entire record for someone to get him a towel because he no longer wishes to be wet. The adults know that this is poppycock - Bert could just get out and air dry soon enough. He wants the towel to wrap around his waist so he doesn't end up completely exposed in all his glory to practically everyone he knows! The moment "the girls", Maria and Susan enter the room Bert screams out "ERNIE! MORE BUBBLE BATH!"

Now one of the great things about the album is that it's just pure fun, unspoiled by the kind of filtered-through-child-psychologists-and-educators watered down killjoy that later Sesame would become. In 1975, the adults were totally along with Ernie - having fun and going along with this goofy idea, not ever even giving much thought to the discomfort Bert is in. There's no preachy moralizing moment of "Hey, Ernie, don't you think we might be hurting Bert's feelings and this may not be a good idea?" Nope - everyone's there for the entire record.

So most of the human cast is there with Ernie and Bert and they start with sing-along standards like "Old McDonald" and "I've Been Working on the Railroad". What's really great is all throughout the album you hear this incredible chemistry between the cast. Sesame had been on the air for a good six years by now and the way that both the human and Muppet cast work together as a whole is just magic. That's really one of the big reasons why this record is so freakin' cool! All throughout it's just Golden Age Sesame at its peak.

For about the first half of the album, someone(s) new enters the bathroom between each song. Big Bird enters with his bells. The Count enters fascinated with counting bathroom tiles and the people in the room which also includes "one big bird and one...one shivering person in the bathtub".

The cast quickly gets Count to sing a song before he puts a...um...damper on things. Unfortunately, his song "Bats In My Belfry" is basically a Transyvanian version of "99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall"...that counts UPWARDS meaning it could literally go on withut end. Once it dawns on everyone where the song is headed, David suggests to the others that they put the Count in the shower, which they do.

This part is hilarious but also kinda strange. Now i don't know about the design of New York (or even general) American bathrooms in one-bedroom apartments in the 1970's but it always struck me odd that they would have had a shower area seperate from the bathtub to put the Count in. Or that there would have already been enough water in there for the sound effect "SPLASH" that occurs when they do instead of a shower nozzle turning on with a whoosh...but it's funny so it works.

Next to enter are the Monsters - Cookie, Grover and Herry...who all come riding into the bathroom on Herry's motorcycle with instruments in the sidecar!

Oscar makes an appearance to complain about the noise but he exits pretty quickly when he realises everyone's still going to go about having fun.

Once Oscar leaves, Susan sings:

Don't shout Grouchy Oscar, don't shout
That's not what our singing's about
So if you can't take
The noise that we make
Go back to your trash can and pout

which kicks off "The Limerick Song", one of the funniest tracks on the album with various people contributing a verse.

Ernie: You all know my good buddy Be-ert
Bert (spoken:) Oh no...
Ernie: Whose feelings are easily hu-urt
When our friends all play dress-up
Old Bert has to fess up
Bert (singing:) Yeah - I'm always the one in the skirt - AND I DON'T LIKE IT

Bert even joins the sing-along for the first time, but for his own reasons...

There once was a man named Mcdowell
Who planted a tree with a trowel
Then he got in the shower
Where he stayed for an hour
And said...SOMEBODY GET ME A TOWEL!!!

And the cast just laughs it off as good fun and all sing the jolly good time chorus oblivious to Bert's suffering although by now he's yelling in the background for his towel..."Grab some pants? How about a washcloth? Go down to Hooper's Store and get an apron - anything! I'm cold! I don't want to be in the tub!"

It's several more songs before anyone else enters but in the meantime Grover leads everyone in "On Top Of Old Smokey" though he doesn't really know the words himself. Instead of singing some well-known variation like "On Top Of Spaghetti", Grover's version was written by Jim Henson himself (he wrote new words to a few of the tracks on the album) and largely details the things he lost on his trip. The words along with Frank Oz's delivery are all so wonderfully Grover-esque, ending with him finding his mommy with all of his stuff. There's also one of the best versions of "What's the Name of That Song" ever.

Eventually Mr Hooper comes in saying he got an order for three quarts of ice cream.
(Of course Ernie wants Bert to pay for it despite his current lack of pants)

Mr. Hooper: Ah, don't worry about it Bert, you can pay me later.
Bert: I just want to get up!

This prompts the cast to sing the Sesame standard Everyone Loves Ice Cream, which they conclude with a rousing "We love you, Mr. Hooper!"

Now at this point one of the most interesting things happen. Up til now, every single character that joins in has a big entrance scene. But when everyone starts singing "Everyone Likes Ice Cream", we hear Prairie Dawn singing along with the cast. She's just there all of a sudden, we never heard any reference to her entering (I always pictured her silently coming in with Hooper helping carry the ice cream).

I'm thinking that the creative staff knew they were skating a thin line with the rather risque topic of the album. Somehow they could get away with Susan and Maria joining in as long as Bert got that "more bubble bath!" But since Prairie was a "sweet little girl" character, they just wanted to sneak her in there and not make any big deal about her entrance. I'm glad they included her though; i mentioned this album totally celebrates the whole cast's synergy and leaving Fran Brill out just wouldn't have been right.

Ernie eventually gets Hooper to admit that along with the ice cream, he brought some cookies which immediately gets Cookie Monster's attention. Rather than take the direct approach, he asks (quasi demands): "Hey, Ernie, me play piano okay?"

Ernie: "I didn't know you could play the piano, Cookie Monster."
Cookie; "Oh SURE..."

and away he starts POUNDING on the keys and belting out "C Is For Cookie"...turns out he really can't play well at all - it's totally off key and in a very uh...deMONSTERative style. It is so absolutely hilarious to listen to. But what's really amazing is that despite the off-key piano, everyone sings the song on key, not letting the piano drag them down. As a singer, i can tell you that's not easy to do! One person in a group singing flat can easily quickly bring everyone else off track. Even though i wouldn't be surprised if the vocals and the piano were recorded seperately, i'm nonetheless very impressed. Of course, Cookie gulps all the cookies down by song's end.

Finally by the end of the album right after a reprise of "What's the Name of That Song?" (Big Bird: "Maybe it's 'The Bluebird of Happiness'". Cookie: "How about Moon Over My Cookie?'"), Bert has been swept up by the fun and leads everyone in "Sing".

I talked about how the interaction among the cast really makes this album special. All throughout there's great little adlibs by everyone during the songs and the narratives. Little gems like Oscar complaining everyone's making enough noise to wake up a parking meter at which point most everyone groans or "ahh"'s, but Grover more innocently yells "That's cute" without any sarcasm implied. When everyone groans at Big Bird's silly food verse suggestion at the end of "Peanuts", Cookie simply states "Sound good to me!"

In fact, if you've heard the Sesame Street Theme Remix by Ursula 1000 that appears on the "Songs From The Street" cd box set that was marketed to adult Sesame fans, all the dialogue clips from the remix come from this album including The Count's "Well here's a snappy little number", Luis' "Dum Dee Dum Dee Dum" and Cookie's "Hey, Ernie, me play piano okay?" among others.

But it's during Sing where my favorite adlib in the entire album occurs. Of course it meant nothing to me as a kid, but the first time i heard this listening to it as an adult after many years, i had one of those five minute long "I can't believe they did that" type laughter fits! Bert is totally enjoying himself and won over by the singalong during this final track and spontaneously cries out, "SING OUT LUIS!" mocking the infamous line from Gypsy.

After everything i mentioned: Naked Bert not wanting to be exposed forming the basis of an album, sheer non-watered down fun, the cast performing together at its peak, Henson and Pottle's writing contributions, it's that SING OUT LUIS that firmly puts this album at the top of the list of all other Sesame records.

And how does it all end? With Bert finally getting his towel? Everyone leaving Bert back alone? Nope. Ernie's final invited guests arrives - a university marching band which excites Bert tremendously as he encourages them to spell out "pigeon" and even get in the bath with him!

Way. Too. Cool.

In closing, i should mention i have a personal story associated with this record (which didn't actually have any impact on my judging it the coolest ever). I would have been about three years old when this came out. My oldest brother, still in the process of learning to drive, accidentally had the car in the wrong gear as he was meaning to back out of the driveway and instead drove straight forward through the garage door! All my family was outside witnessing this and when it happened, i was bawling out a storm! Everyone thought it was because i was scared, but it wasn't that it scared me, but to a three-year-old mind, a hole in the garage door was one of those unspeakable nightmares - a part of your house broken! Sure when a Monster runs out of your house leaving a Herry-shaped hole in the wall in his wake, it's funny because it's only people on tv but this was real! The house one lives in is the symbol of security to a small child and now that it all of a sudden had a hole in it (even if it was just the garage), this was too devastating for me to comprehend. (This probably explains why i get so terrified of the prospect of a tree being knocked over and crashing into my apartment whenever there's a huge storm!)

To make amends for the horror he accidentally inflicted on me, he went out to the store soon after and brought me home this record. (The fact that i was already learning to deal with sudden change wasn't helped by seeing how the back cover looked "weird" compared with my other Sesame records). But Ernie and Bert always made me laugh and this record did its job even if i couldn't figure out why Bert was pictured on the cover fully clothed and happily singing along with Ernie on the piano when that's not what was on the record or had no idea what the whole "SING OUT LUIS" thing was about.

Pretty stereotypical of a gay male probably, but i've never been a sports fan. When i was a kid, i just could never understand how my father and older brothers could sit in front of a television for hours and get mad at watching a game. Watching an "exciting" sport like football or baseball for hours has zero appeal to me, and you can imagine what watching something like golf would do to my patience level!

The only sports i could ever really stand to watch are figure skating (because there's artistic merit mixed in with athleticism) and diving (HELLO! Hunks getting wet!) The only sporting event i ever set my dvr for is the Super Bowl only so i can check out the commercials (and Muppet related ones have made their super bowl debuts quite a few times this last decade!)

So since i can't stand sports, what then would be "MY Super Bowl" television event? The Daytime Emmy Awards.

Every year it's a chance to see what kind of coverage and recogniition two of my biggest areas of fandom will receive: The Jim Henson Company (often in the form of Sesame Street but also its other various daytime endeavors like Bear in the Big Blue House, Wubbulous World of Dr Suess and Sid the Science Kid) and One Life to Live. This is my turn to get mad at the television set and play armchair judge!

Under normal circumstances, i should really be excited about this year. Sesame Street is entering its 40th season which would hopefully mean some kind of tribute. And 2008 is probably One Life to Live's greatest chance for an Emmy sweep since 1994 and their classic college date rape story. 2008 was the year OLTL finally got rid of its worst-ever headwriter Dena Higley, and replaced her with 11-year OLTL staff writer Ron Carlivati who is as big a fan of the soap and its (also 40 years!) history as the viewers. If nothing else, RC should be given a Lifetime Acheivement Soap Gods Award for cleaning up the mess left by Higley and then having to clean up ANOTHER train wreck leftover from the writer's strike! OLTL did win the directing and writing awards last year, but now this year was all Carlivati's vision (except for the writers strike but at least all the soaps had that same handicap), and in between his stories, and the always-stellar direction, production values and acting, One Life to Live in 2008 really was even better than most primetime drama series.

Now even then i set up this blog to discuss my various areas of fandom, i know most of the readers are Muppet Freaks so i'll save the rest of my OLTL gushing for the end of this post so those who care less can stop reading once i get to that point.

So with much for a Sesame/Henson fan and an OLTL addict to celebrate, i should really be excited about the 2009 Daytime Emmys. Only problem is for a long time it's been looking more like there may not even BE a 2009 telecast.

The Daytime Emmys, while honoring the best in daytime news, talk shows, childrens' shows and the like, has largely been focused on and revolved around the daytime dramas. Not only has ratings for all the network soaps been on a steady decline (ever since the OJ Simpson trial pre-emptions), but the amount of soaps still on the air vying for these awards continues to diminish. There's also been a lot of controversy and backlash over the nomination and judging processes with various attempts at adjusting the rules over the years to help "fix" some of the problems which often seem to instead make those problems bigger. As a result, it's largely felt that the Daytime Emmys are losing their relevence - so much so that all the major networks were not even wanting to be the ones airing this year's ceremonies.

That's bad. Award shows are usually something networks fight for the airing rights over. But the Daytime Emmys have become the holiday fruitcake - "YOU take it!" "I don't want it - YOU have it!" "Let's give it to Mikey - he'll eat ANYTHING!" "Mikey says NOOOOO!"

How bad is the situation? The cable channel SOAPnet even passed on being the ceremony's saviour!

Even though the official announcement still hasn't been made, news has broken that CW will go ahead and air the awards this year.

So at least it looks like there'll still be a broadcast this year. But the Daytime Emmys are still on the Endangered Species List and may very well be no more sometime within the next five to ten years.

Which brings us to the question most readers of this blog will have: how will this affect the Daytime Emmys' focus on Sesame Street and other kid shows? Sesame DOES have its 40th anniversary coming up which ordinarily would warrant a special tribute. How much attention and air time will be given to announcing the winnners of the various kids shows categories and will any Sesame cast members be presenting awards or making appearances?

It could go either way.

If the Daytime Emmys are to remain relevant while soaps are becoming less so, then the most obvious answer is for the ceremony to divert less attention to the soaps and more towards the other areas - like talk, news, and of course childrens shows. Will they do this though?

Already the reaction to the news that CW will air the awards is not being well received by the daytime drama industry as they fear that since CW doesn't have any daytime dramas of its own, that they will probably dramatically tone down the soap coverage. That could be a sign of hope for Sesame/Henson fans, but those same concerns could also be translated to how CW will cover the children's entertainment aspect since like the soaps, CW isn't really a player in this arena. So the whole de-emphasis on soaps could either work out in Sesame's favor or they could also end up being equally snubbed.

So Hensonites and Muppet Freaks may have a lot of waiting-and-seeing to find out how big a part of the Daytime Emmys the Sesame gang will be this year.

That concludes my thoughts on how Sesame will be impacted, so as promised, all those who could care less about soaps may stop reading now...But if you do have any amount of interest, stay tuned because now i'm really gonna let lose in my rantings!

As i said eerlier, One Life to Live fans should really be hopeful that 2009 is their year to shine. Yes, some of the summer storylines dragged a bit (which is a rather standard occurance) but overall, OLTL has been at its best. In its 40 year history, One Life to Live has won the "Best Soap" award only once - in 2001 when it was helmed by Gary Tomlin...who in a rather shrewd move, was brought back to the show's writing staff in late 2007 as a way to prepare for the then-impending writers' strike. And indeed, when the strike did happen, Tomlin head wrote those episodes.

I give OLTL a lot of credit for the various ways they prepared for the stike. Like i said upthread, Headwriter Ron Carlivati had made a lot of progress quickly turning a ruined show back on track and was in a situation where he was looking at having an even bigger mess to clean up if the writer's strike happened. So they made two very smart moves. Putting Tomlin back on the staff so that he could keep the show afloat during the strike and also getting as much scripts written as far in advance as possible. By the time the strike happened, the "scab writers" episodes were only actually onscreen from Februrary to the very beginning of May.

Gary Tomlin certainly couldn't be considered a hack writer since he had been with the show before as a writer and an executive producer. While he didn't ruin things, he did put some major dents in Carlivati's vision that RC would have to deal with upon his return. What was impressive was not only that RC was able to get the show back on track, but that he did so as quickly and as well as he did. RC's writing returned to the air on May 2. The period between late May and early June was one of the best consecutive runs of top-notch all-time-best episodes in the show's history.

As far as writing, directing, and yes, Best Show...OLTL really should be taking those trophies home this year. I will be screaming and throwing things at my television set if it doesn't (much like the rest of my family does with the Super Bowl!)

But then there's the acting awards...

Soap actors have a bad rep in the overall acting industry thanks in large part to casting directors loading their shows with hunks and beauty queens who can't act. This is actually a shame because while these are in no short supply, there are many actors who are called upon to deliver the most gut-wrenching material under the most chaotic processes that come with shooting shows that air daily with no break for reruns. If they're serious about their craft and not looking at a soap role as a stepping stone in their modeling career, a soap actor is one of the hardest working and most professional actors there are.

One Life to Live has long been blessed with its acting talent (though certainly not immune to the gawdawful eye candy non-actors in its cast - the Vega Brothers anyone?) This same cast was SNUBBED big time last year with only Brian Kerwin receiving a final nomination.

So you can imagine, i'm particularly interested in how well OLTL fares in the acting categories especially given some of the bravura performances the show has seen this year.

Under the current system, each show has its onw "pre-nomination" ceremony, where the show's staff votes for the top two people to be considered for a final nomination in each category. As far as OLTL's pre-noms went, there wasn't much surprises, though there were some things i really need to rant on.

Chief among them, Robin Strasser ("Dorian Lord")'s non-inclusion. She is exactly the type of actor i was talking about earlier who is at the top of her field. She always brings her A-game to every scene even if she's not a major part of it. And boy did she bring it big time in 2008 - the Emmy was hers if she wanted it!

However, as a past Emmy winner and having served on the board, Robin has often taken her name out of consideration the last several years, only occasionally being talked out of doing so by the higher-ups. This was another year Robin decided she didn't want to be considered for an Emmy nod, and boy do i wish the show would have worked a lot harder to convince her otherwise. There is no question in my mind that she would have won an award this year if she would have allowed herself to be considered. The episode where she went from desperately pouring vodka down Charlie's throat (while praying for forgiveness from her deceased alchoholic husband) to taking over the Buchanan Enterprises' Shareholders Meeting Joan Collins style announcing that the company was now hers (in a dress and hat worthy of their own awards) was one of those great moments in soap history that is what the Awards were made for.

So with Strasser out of the running, i fully expect to see Susan Haskell ("Marty Saybrooke" - who i am SO GLAD to see back after that horrible recast) and either Bree Williamson ("Jessica Buchanan") or Kathy Brier ("Marcie McBain") (who are up against each other in the same category) walk away with both final nominations and trophies. Robert S Woods ("Bo Buchanan") and Kristen Alderson ("Starr Manning") have good shots at wins as well. As you can tell, i totally eat this kind of stuff up!

One name that was also not in the pre-noms was that of Trevor St. John ("Todd Manning"). I've seen several articles from members of the soap press decrying St. John's lack of even a pre-nomination as the latest example of what's wrong with the current system.

I usually love St. John. He often does stellar work and indeed turned out some incredible stuff during the latter part of the year in regards to the fallout of the Marty Saybrooke amnesia story. He had an excellent shot at an Emmy before (2006 execution story) and will probably be worthy of an award in years to come. However, unlike the soap press who seem to have a collective amnesia of their own, i haven't forgotten the sheer GARBAGE that Trevor subjected us to in the spring before the Marty story.

At a time when One Life to Live was at its peak in nearly all areas, TSJ wasn't even bothering to phone it in...his performances were horrible to watch (especially when one knew he was capable of so much better). It was as if he was unhappy with what the scab writing had done to his character and was sabotaging the show by not even trying. It wasn't that he was making BAD acting choices; he wasn't making ANY acting choices. I'm sorry - but you don't just don't give awards for stuff like that even if he also had moments of greatness during the same year.

If someone is given an award that reads "Best Actor 2008", then they should truly represent the best for ALL of 2008. Let's say TSJ did get a pre-nom. He could easily have put together a reel (after the pre-noms, actors submit two episodes representing their best performances for judging) that could have gotten him a spot on the final nominations and maybe even an eventual win. And had that happened, THAT would have been an example of the problems with the current system much more than his failure to earn a pre-nom.

It's precisely because of this whole issue of "representing the best for the year" that i'm so torn over Bree Williamson's chances at an Emmy. Her work during Nash's death and her grieving was among the best the show had seen since Judith Light's legendary "Karen Wolak on the witness stand" in 1979. When it aired, i said then and there "the Emmy's hers!"

But then she spent the summer delivering some horrendous performances in the "Tess returns" storyline. So i'm a bit conflicted. How can i argue so passionately about how Trevor St John does not deserve an Emmy becasue his horrible performances cancelled out his stellar ones yet still like to see a win for Williamson?

Probably because at least BW MADE acting choices (even if they were horribly over the top) whereas TSJ just didn't even try. She chewed a huge amount of scenery and grew an honorary moustache after all the twirling she gave it, but her choices were appropriate to the story and its tone. They were bad, but in some ways could be seen as valid. By the same token, TSJ was handed an actor's dream on a silver platter - the complex mix of emotions we should see displayed by a borderline psychopath after he tosses the one person he's always unconditionally loved (his daughter Starr) down a flight of stairs in his blind rage (which wasn't very rageful) was given all the gravity as stepping in a mud puddle in a pair of shoes one doesn't care about.

But in the end, Bree is in the same category as the equally (if not more) deserving Kathy Brier who always acts her heart out even when her character isn't the most likable. Overall Brier is more deserving taking the year as a whole in account, but Williamson will have a stronger reel. If either won, i would not be disappointed.

Rest assured, that even though this "75-85%" Muppet blog is an avenue for discussing my areas of fandom (of which OLTL is a big one), that's probably the most you'll see me go off on a huge rant about OLTL for awhile since for non soap fans, the above sentiments were probably just as exciting as reading sports commentary is to me. It's just that the Daytime Emmys bring out that "Super Bowl sized" fanatic in me so unless it concerns the Emmys, OLTL-focused posts won't be that frequent or as indepth - at least until the Emmys actually air! Then watch out!

So if you're only here for the Muppet stuff, we've got Naked Bert on deck! So stay tuned!

Just like practically all my other interests, my passion for record collecting can be directly traced to the Muppets. I had all the record albums and singles when i was a kid (and the stores were SATURATED with them in the 70's). If it was Muppet-related and on record, i had to have it (even if i already had the songs on it on other recordings). This would pretty much account for my later desire to track down every single obscure recording by Eurythmics, Annie Lennox, or Dave Stewart including the various bands on Dave's Anxious Music record label, the super rare "Borderline" single Dave and Annie recorded with Peet Coombes in 1977 under the name "The Catch" before they added two more members to become The Tourists for three more years, and of course countless bootlegs! I also have a massive Pet Shop Boys collection (though not being a fan of a lot of remixes, i draw the line at tracking down their singles that are nothing but 12 minute bastardizations of their original song!)

This early love of Muppet record collecting would later give way to Muppet video collecting/tape trading...but that's another post!

Gearing up for its 40th season, Sesame Street has had a lot of awesome songs in its over 4000 episodes (including songs that were only on records and not the actual show). Many of us have our favorite moments that live in our hears and inevitably make us smile when we remember the Count doing the Lambaba while counting sheep, Chris Cerf's manic performances as Little Chrissy counting it higher or looking for the way way out Exit sign, or even Bip Bibbadotta (aka Mahna Mahna) yelling "all of the hairy ones and all of the scary ones" or "See the tall ball on the high wall, see it stall, hear it call HI Y'ALL!" And that's just the Muppet songs...there were also some groovy ditties that didn't involve the Muppets such as the Pointer Sisters' swing alphabet and their all time classic Pinball Number Count.

So one would think it nearly impossible to compile the five coolest Sesame Street songs of all time. But oddly enough it was really quite easy simply because even though there have been so many greats over the decades, the following songs just reach insurmountable heights of awesomeness that really make them stand apart. They immediately came to mind during my initial brainstorming, and even after searching lists of Muppet songs, i simply couldn't find anything that i overlooked that came close.

When i was putting together this list, i tried not to include any common threads, but nonetheless i found there there are two really interesting things about these songs: (1) They're all from Sesame Street's "Golden Era" (1972-1977) - and believe me, i really tried to include something newer, but just couldn't find any songs better than these! (2) Even more surprising, when i was looking up information on these songs, i discovered that the top four were all written or co-written by Sam Pottle (who along with Jim Henson, wrote The Muppet Show Theme Song) The only non-Pottle song was written by Joe Raposo.

And that song is:

#5: CLINK, CLANK!

--As far as i know, this song was never performed on the show (though Bert and Ernie did a special version with Flip Wilson on his variety show). Originally recorded for 1972's Havin' Fun With Ernie and Bert album (and appearing on numerous compilation albums since), this song is all about Bert going on about how "WILD AND WONDEFUL" the sound of hitting a pan and tin can with a spoon is along with shaking a tin can with marbles inside and blowing a whistle. Ernie is less impressed.

Now you just know ANY Top Five list of the coolest Sesame ANYTHING simply has to include Ernie and Bert. But this is the one that will have you howling with laughter. "Dance Myself to Sleep" came close (and given that it was from the '80's, i really wanted to include it, but not only has it been overplayed on the show, but it just doesn't make me giggle non-stop like this one does.)

Part of the reason this song is so hysterical is not only because of the classic interplay between Henson's Ernie and Oz's Bert, but the BACKING MUSIC is so insanely out there - the kazoo players were just having way too much fun on this track!
Bert gives out these almost orgasmic sighs and sings with such passion! And Ernie decides to join in - with a very loud obnoxious horn leading to a tear-inducing spoken exchange:

Bert: AAAAhhh! Ernie, you RUINED it!

Ernie: Well, I couldn't find a whistle, Bert!

Bert: Well, this time YOU rattle and I'll TWEET!

Ernie: Okay, Bert! (HONK!)

Bert: ERNIE!

Ernie: I just had to put it down, Bert.

Bert: Well... CONTROL yourself!

I've played this song many times for both Muppet lovers and non-Freaks, and every time i've done so they have just ended up in tears of laughter.

#4: THIS FROG

-- Let's just forget about Sesame Street for a moment; this song is my all time favorite Kermit the Frog song! Better than Bein' Green, Rainbow Connection, or Happy Feet! This is really the frog's anthem. It was written after The Muppet Show had made its debut and Kermit was going from a star to a supernova. It's really one of those inspirational songs that one can totally absorb and feel empowered by - not at all schmaltzy or hokey. As someone who's often felt like the prince in a frog's body, i really have adopted this song as my own personal call to flippers. Just look at this first verse:

This frog has to go his own way
This frog doesn't care what the other frogs say
This frog wants to be happy, and this frog has to try
This frog is gonna make it or know the reason why
I'm not gonna sit here like some dumb old bump on a log
That isn't me!
I'm gonna be this frog!

...and the rest of the song is just that good! Including other classic lines like:

This frog is staying with it, like a tick sticks to a dog

and...

This frog will not wear a halter, cause nothing halts this frog!

It's actually kind of a shame that this song hasn't crossed over from outside of Sesame Street (and even then, not aired, released, or heard in ages). It really deserves to be on a whole mess o' Muppet compilation albums amd be one of those clips that always show up in Muppet tribute reels like Sam and Friends' "That Old Black Magic" and Muppet Show's "I Get Around"

#3: I WANT A MONSTER TO BE MY FRIEND

--I'm not EVEN going to talk about the travesty that was En Vogue's recording of this song for the Elmopalooza special and album. That's like comparing the awesomeness of George W Bush vs. Pepe the King Prawn! No, i mean the original recording by Marilyn Sokol.

Now, if you're a Muppet fan and you're not familiar with either the name Marilyn Sokol or can't immediately place her voice, i command you to either break out your Emmet Otter and Sesame Street Old School Volume 2 dvd's - or buy them if you don't own them! Sokol is best known in Muppet circles as the voice of Ma Otter, but she also lent her voice to a number of Sesame Street songs in the 1970's - and there's a pleasantly heaping portion of them on the Old School 2 set. Marilyn will be the subject of a performer tribute post later on in this blog, so i'll limit my gushing about her here so i can save it for later. But suffice to say, the sun always shines brighter on Sesame Street when Marilyn sings. And she totally OWNS this track!

Betty Lou was the Muppet who sang this song on the show, but the audio recording came first where she was credited as "a little girl". Indeed, she starts out singing very sweetly about the benefits of dolls or pets and such. But then she gets to the point of the song and what she really desires...and breaks out in full belting-showgirl jazz mode!

I want a monster
To be my playmate
I want a monster
To be my friend
I want to get
For my own pet
A real live monster
Who's not pretend

Now Sokol's take-no-prisoners delivery alone would make this song sheer awesomeness on its own, but then there's also the subject matter - extolling the virtues of Muppet Monsters! Now this is something near and dear to my heart - i've often self-identified as a Muppet Monster; not the cutest or most desirable outside, but a rather sweet if eccentric and large-appetited being underneath it all. One of my prize possesions is a shirt with The Muppet Show's Sweetums on the front and the words "Tall, Dark, and Handsome" on the back. Whether they were on the Street, the Show, or any other Muppet production, the Monsters taught the best lessons about tolerance. And they looked and acted cool while doing it!

Which, sadly makes it all the more of a shame that this song was ruined by INtolerance. All it took was one hypersensitive whackjob parent who wrote to the show complaining that some of the lines in the song could be interpreted to refer to child molestation. The song was pulled from the show and not included in any more album compilations (until that dreadful En Vogue version that rewrote the "controversial" lyrics).

Believe me, the damage En Vogue did to this amazing song was far worse than any damage the lyrics of the song could possibly inflict in anyone's mind. If that parent hasn't already died in a sea of their own bitterness, i'm pretty sure they're now a Bill O'Reilly addict/Focus on Everyone Else's Family But Your Own disciple that endorses boycotts of the Teletubbies and Spongebob Squarepants "because they're gay"
and wants President Obama to fail because he's "one of THOSE people". I would say to that person "learn to love your neighborhood monsters" especially since you seem to have a rather large Monster Streak yourself!

Anyway, end of rant. It was a celebration of monsters. It had Marilyn Sokol singing her heart out. It was banned. It was the third Coolest Sesame Song Ever!

#2: COOKIE DISCO

Isn't it funny how things work sometimes? One nutjob parent takes offense at a song that one really has to twist around to imagine is something bad, but no one seemed to mind that Cookie Monster was singing a parody of the Theme From Shaft? Which this song totally is! This song is a perfect example of how Sesame Street was entertaining the adults right along with the kids with its multi-layered humor. Watching this as a kid and seeing Cookie in his "pimped out" costume, i just thought he was dressing up as Elton John (just with a very shaggy beard). Did you get out that copy of the Sesame Street Old School Volume 2 DVD Box Set when i told you to? You'll see this song included. Dig that groovy choreographed entrance Cookie's backup singers make! Though this song is hilarious to watch on tv, it's just as much fun listening to it on record with all the 70's musical cliches going on in the background like the flutes and such. A sampling of the lyrics:

(singers:) He's shaggy, he's blue
And he knows how to chew - COOKIE!

(Cookie:) Can you dig it?

(Singers:) You think you can munch,
Brother, you're out to lunch
Compared with - COOKIE!

(Cookie:) Did someone say "Lunch?"

...and...

(Singers:) If you offered him treasure,
Will he take it?
(Cookie:)Darn tootin', but you know me would
Get a lot more pleasure from Fig Newton!

#1: THE SUBWAY

--Even compared with all the Muppety Goodness that makes up the other four songs, this one blows them all away! Sang by a group of Anything Muppets (along with Betty Lou, Bert, and Kermit). Great fun to listen to, even greater fun to watch! Intensely catchy, MORE great Marilyn Sokol vocals, and probably the MOST CYNICAL lyrics ever sang on Sesame Street set to music that sounds like a total over the top celebration!

Watching the really cool hipster-type Muppet inexplicably walk into the subway station twice, Bert's little "Hi, Kermit", Kermit popping up in his trench coat, that crazy trumpet solo instrumental where all the Muppets dance wildly with each other (including one man who lacking a dance partner shakes his rolled-up newspaper all over the place) and lines like:

OOOOHHH...
Kermit: My stop just went by!
OHHHHH...
Betty Lou: Hey, your thumbs in my eye!
OOOHHHH....
Hip Dude: Its so hot, I could die!

and...

You could lose your purse
Or you might lose something worse
On the subway
SUBWAY!

and most especially...

Buy a token now for a ride that's "super-WOW" on the SUBWAY!

...ending with the group getting off (after falling into each other as the subway comes to a stop)...except for Bert who stays holding onto his strap as the door closes!

It doesn't get better than this! And to my jumping-with-joy ecstatic bliss, it was also included on the Old School DVD 2 set!

Now finally, I do have to give a special...

HONORABLE MENTION: to SURPRISE

No, not the Little Jerry song from season two (though that was pretty awesome itself), but rather a mid-70's song with the human cast and some Muppet help (including Big Bird and Grover). The reason i can only bestow this song with an "honorable mention" is only because i haven't seen or heard it since it last aired in the mid 70's and i've forgotten a lot about it. But what i do remember was incredible and i have little doubt that it would be right up there with the others.

The subject of the song was about how surprises are things you don't expect - and the song just goes in all these wild random directions musically and visually. There's Bob doing nursery rhymes and getting soaked with water talking about Jack and Jill and snowed on when reciting Mary Had a Little Lamb, doors opening to brick walls, Groucho glasses, and a whole bunch of pies in the face (and of course, you can NEVER go wrong with massive pies in the face!) At one point Big Bird sings about how everyone forgot his birthday and he gets a surprise celebration. The very last shot is the cast grouped together singing "SURPRISE!" as what appears to a flower on Big Bird's chest turns out to be a pie that hurls itself at the camera. This is my Holy Grail of Sesame clips that i want to see again! And just think...if it was co-written by Sam Pottle, he may then dominate my list completely by knocking Roposo out of the #5 spot!

Coming up this week...The COOLEST Sesame Street ALBUM of all time. None of the above songs are on it, but it does have a healthy supply of Ernie and Bert!